What I Hope to Accomplish By Taking a Leap of Faith

People often talk about what they’d do if they won a lottery. It’s fun to consider what might be if there were few financial limits. I’ve never been a very materialistic person (perhaps, because as my daughter points out, I’ve never had much to be materialistic with), but of course I have dreams. Last March, I wrote about the room of my own I’ve always wanted, and last week I wrote a tongue-in-cheek post about winning a Ford Mustang.

While I was asking myself what I’d do if I had a new car and money to spare, the answer that came back to me was: Go. Pack up a camera, laptop, phone, and some camping equipment and go on a year-long cross-country photojournalism trip, during which I’d:

- interview interesting people from all walks of life
- gain new perspectives
- challenge myself to do, try, think, write, and explore new things

The idea excited me so much so that I began to wonder why I couldn’t do it anyway.

2009 was a terrible, no good, pretty rotten year for me. I got sick, lost my job, had no health insurance, and watched the bills pile up into an insurmountable mountain. My writing suffered and like many writers I don’t feel wholly alive when I lose my words.

I’ve never considered myself to be either a glass half-full or half-empty person. Depending on the situation, I can be pragmatic or imaginative. In tough situations, I think like a doctor; I do what I can to stop the bleeding, and then move on to palliative measures. When the situation is under control, another part of me kicks in, looking for a long-term solution or cure.

I pared my life down to the bare essentials this year. When my car lease ended, I didn’t renew it, but went out and bought a 1986 Ford Bronco for cash. I sold my album collection, canceled my cable and land line, and cut my grocery bill in half. And of course, I went job hunting.

The job market in Minnesota isn’t as bad as it is in some other places, but it’s not good. People with college degrees are competing for $10/hr. jobs in convenience stores. Many jobs are part-time, low-paying, and come with no benefits. For writers, the job market is especially bleak.

So I came to one of those proverbial forks in the road. I could stay in Minnesota with an old truck and limited opportunities or I could take my old truck on the road and invent new opportunities along the way — I really could take a leap of faith in a somewhat faithless time, and do something I’ve always dreamed of doing.

People have asked: Won’t it be hard? Aren’t you scared? Don’t you think it’s dangerous? What are you going to do for money, gas, repairs? How are you going to make it?

I considered all of those things and realized that, outside of the comfort that comes with living in an apartment, all the same questions apply to staying in Minnesota. I have no safety net here. My truck could just as easily break down in Minneapolis as it could in California, Denver, or Tennessee. I could spend money on rent, or on gas, repairs, campgrounds, and hostels. However, if I stay here I am no closer to having an adventure I’ll remember for the rest of my life. If I leave, I might just meet fascinating people from all over the United States, be inspired to write new things, and challenge my 47 year-old self to step out of the comfort zone and into something much more inspiring.

I’ve met many wonderful people while blogging on the internet, and several have offered to feed or board me while I’m in their town. I’m also hoping to pick up odd jobs along the way, as well some freelance assignments. I’m not afraid of hard work, and I’ve done many things in my life, from cleaning barns and tending babies to writing ad campaigns. I’ve discovered that I really can do anything, as long as it’s not illegal, and doesn’t involve killing animals, selling door to door, or scaling heights.

I also hope that stories from my journey will be compelling enough to inspire readers to donate $10 or $20 for gas and expenses here and there. It would be wonderful to feel supported that way — like there were other people investing in my dream, but I won’t rely on it, or make a lot of pleas. I put a PayPal link in the sidebar for those who feel moved to contribute. I will also be using Twitter while on the road, and I hope that if an emergency comes up, the power of social media will assist me in finding help.

When I come upon a particularly compelling story, I’ll be sharing it here as well as on the Huffington Post. I hope readers on Huff and from my blog will feel free to let me know what cities, events, and people they’d like to see me write about.

I plan on leaving the first week of October, and I am excited about what lies ahead. I can’t wait to meet some of the people I’ve talked to online, as well as to people from all walks of life, who have interesting stories that have not yet been told.

The What-Ifs & How You Can Help

A few people have called me brave since I decided to upheave my life and fulfill my lifelong dream of driving across America on a photojournalism/personal discovery trip. It is a courageous act, but I won’t deny that it’s also somewhat scary. So much of this adventure will rely on the goodwill and participation of other people, and I worry — will there be hosts when I need them? Will the Ford Bronco hold out? Will I find interesting subjects to write about? Will there be an audience for those subjects? Will I be able to finish a book on the road? What if I run out of gas on some forlorn highway?

Then again, what if. . .it all works out wonderfully, and it really does become the adventure of a lifetime? What if I step out into the world and find exactly the kind of stories I’ve always wanted to tell?

There are what-ifs and risks in every adventure, even those that are carefully planned. People have risked their lives to climb Mt. Everest, traverse down white water rapids, or explore the Antarctica. I used to ask why, but now I understand. It’s not only about the challenge, or pushing the limits, or fulfilling a dream, it’s about legacies. At 47, I ask myself: What do I want to leave behind? What higher meaning do I want my life to have? When I am old, what memories do I want to share with a younger generation?

When I ask myself those questions, this journey becomes less fearful and far more exciting. I have a lot of work to do before I hit the road — an apartment needs to be emptied, loose ends need to be tied up, a road itinerary needs to be planned, and there are a few hundred phone calls to make — but the chaos of preparation is also part of the adventure.

Work opportunities, donations, and host houses will make this project possible. Some people have asked how they could help, and there are several ways:

*If you’d be willing to host me as a guest for a day or two, please let me know.

*Likewise please let me know if you can provide a temporary job while I’m in your city. I can do almost anything from barns to offices.

*I am always looking for interesting people to interview!

*If you know of any businesses or corporations that might want to sponsor part of this trip, please contact me.

*Gift card donations for Verizon, gas, food, and coffee would be appreciated. I am also in need of camping equipment and a digital camcorder. Until October 1, donations can be sent to: 110201 Village Rd., Chaska, MN 55318

*There’s a Paypal link in the sidebar for cash donations.

Any and all support is greatly appreciated!

The Zygote Stage

Welcome to my new website, where I’ll be planning my escape from a rote life in Minnesota, and taking to the open road in search of introspection, adventure, interesting people, and new stories to share with the world.

For those who found this site while surfing the web, you can read about how this all came about here. The short story is that I decided to quit waiting for my dreams to come true, and make them happen.

I have clung to the lifeboat of practicality for years only to find myself, at 47, wishing that I’d done more, seen more, listened more, and paid more attention to my own spirit — which has too often felt washed out under fluorescent lights and bridled by workaday sensibilities. I realized long ago that I was not meant to spend my life in offices doing work I had no passion for, but the way I saw it, there was little choice.

2009 was a banner year for personal lessons. Like so many others, I found myself unemployed. I became ill, and had no medical insurance. Subsisting on an unemployment check, I went looking for work for the first time in years, and found myself facing a job market where even the experienced and educated were working in convenience stores for $8 per hour.

I looked around the four walls of my tiny apartment.

I looked in the parking lot, where in better days my leased car used to sit, and where there is now a 1986 Ford Bronco with barely-there brakes and a broken back door.

I looked at the piles of want-ads, resumes, rejection letters, and bills. It felt futile. And even if it wasn’t futile, it’s not what I wanted.

I looked inside my heart, and I knew there were only two ways off this ledge. I could crawl back down into a life I didn’t really want, or I could take a giant leap, with no ropes and no safety net, and do something totally different.

My decision is apparent with this website, and I’m looking forward to gathering support, making new friends, and sharing the journey — and many stories.

I anticipate leaving Minnesota in October. Between now and then, I have a lot of shuffling, organizing, packing, calling, and planning to do. I’m excited about getting started, and will share my progress here as it happens.